Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

3 I’s for Success: Invention, Innovation and Insurance

Locks are considered as oldest invention in the history, much before we invented fire, wheel and other stuffs, we invented ways to secure the food. The form must have changed today but the concept remained the same.

Innovation came into picture to improvise to the extent of protect data using retina. This is because as the race was innovating to secure, another lot was busy ideating to decode. Term it lock picking or hacking. This was not enough to keep mind at rest, human needed assurance.

Origin of insurance is way back in history dated much Before Christ, The Babylonians developed a system which was recorded in the famous Code of Hammurabi, c. 1750 BC, and practiced by early Mediterranean sailing merchants. If a merchant received a loan to fund his shipment, he would pay the lender an additional sum in exchange for the lender's guarantee to cancel the loan should the shipment be stolen.

When I wrote about the invention of Locks, it was time when the human race was not enough human and the business was limited to hunting. Later invention was to find new place in form of new sources and new markets from where the goods can be purchased cheap and good can be sold expensive.

With entire planet been marred by race, humans are now innovating the places like moon and mars and ideating new ways to make life more comfortable and affordable. Irrespective of the irony that the race die out of hard work and stress to make life comfortable and affordable.

Race is inventing, innovative ways to insure, from spending small time from your day for Exercising or paying small amount from your income to a firm whose name, incidentally contains 3 I’s. If you are being lazy for workout, inventions like sauna belts are innovated to help.

In today’s world with abundance of variety, it’s a must to find what invention, innovation and Insurance are needed for your success.

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One Joke per post: A begger found a hundre rupee note. He went to a five star hotel and had full course meal. Bill 3000 Rs. Manager handed him over to police. He gave 100 Rs note to police and got free.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

A day without Advertisements

I had a dream today, i was in a land where advertising was banned and it was such a wonderful experience before i got to know the truth.

I picked up and open the newspaper in the morning and there wasn’t any falling fliers. The all the pages had news only and first page was at the beginning and not after the advertisement page. There wasn’t any posters and banners in the street in the city landscape there were trees but not the billboards. Did not get to see any website name printed at the back of Auto Rickshaw and buses and trains will be cleaner and I could see the route map of the Local trains clearly as there was no stickers on top of it. Walls in the city was clean and painted with political party posters and rally slogans. No embarrassing undergarments drawing and secret disease cure on the railway track wall.

Prepaid to postpaid conversion call, Personal loan upto 15 lacks, Lifetime Club membership only for 99999 INR. Sale at central, lifestryle, peter England, Unlimited food offer at tasty buds, mozzerialla, Opening offer of Fashion and You. All day I didn’t got a SMS or phonel call regarding any of this. I surfed freely over internet, without any popup asking me if I am looking for a house, offering free screensavers nor letting me know the details of hot and single females near my area. No one send me any email regarding my winning million dollar lottery.

BUT just before I was about to enter my house thinking that I would get to see the complete episode without any commercial break on TV, they stopped me. Initially they were few. They were hungry they were jobless. Sooner there were many. There were marketers, there painters, there were artist, there were ad agencies, there were call center guys, models, hakims astrologers etc etc. They were young, old, working professional, homemakers, rich and poor all sorts. They were staring at me as if I have stolen all there money. One shouted from the crowd "hey, consumer, what will happen if you look at those wonderfull hoardings" then lots of voices "what harm, my SMS does to you". "we are in fact paying the bus, train, taxi to put ads on it and doing good to them". " we also will pay you for reading the SMS’s"

BEEP BEEP, i recvieved sms…I got up from sleep..but all the question still linger on my mind.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sensex, Valentine & You

Stock market is just not letting bear go away. almost since last one 10-15 days market has cling on to bear and not allowing anyone to get bear for their dear one. Last year you could afford a nice furry pink color bear for your valentine, but this year the lost love of market has come and hit all of us from the back. Two days to go for valentine day, we are praying to the bull to return to his love and roam in dalal street happily with BSE and add some basis points. 

It was observed that bull was serving valentine market, and enjoying guarding all the bears inside glass cages, well lit and decorated, This market is happy to release all the bears, red, pink and yellow, to whoever dare to cross the bull-guard. Bull for all, now know that his term with this valentine market will get over this Monday so moved towards the dalal street and from Friday noon the bear has moved 265 steps. Valentine market after knowing that bull will move out of her market soon, resorted to a scam release 2 come 65 steps near to teddy bears, a flat 32.5% scam. The other part of the scam is overnight they move all the Glass cages of colorful bears up by 32.5% and disillusioned You.

You, who was eagerly waiting for this day when you will bring colorful bear to your valentine so that she will forget all your bull (shit) and start loving you, still doing a circus with bull and bears of two market. 



Facts:
1. Florists and gift shop inflate the prices by 30-40% during valentine season and no discount.
2. In 2009, 90% of all the online orders with Ferns and Petals, happened for valentine day.and 10% for remaining 364 days.